Tile Work Basics
by Whispy Stalker
Summary: Relena is remodeling her home and the five gundam pilots are 'helping' her. This is a must read if your looking for a good laugh! ;)


_On one sunny day, Relena was remodeling her home. She knew that she could not do everything by herself; she needed some hard-working reinforcements to help her. Those 'hard-working' reinforcements were none other than the 5 gundam pilots, Heero, Trowa, Duo, Quatre, and WuFei. _

"Duo, can you _please_ help the others paint the walls in the hallway while I lay the floor tiles in the kitchen before you find something else to amuse yourself with?" Relena sighed as she picked some almost-dried-up-Elmer's-Glue out of her hair.

The glue was in her hair because of a little accident that had happened earlier when Duo 'accidentally' spilled a _whole_ bottle of Elmer's Glue in her hair while he was upstairs standing by the banister railings while. She just happens to be walking toward Heero and Quatre with a freshly baked ready-to-serve-and-delicious-tasting-according-to-Relena mince pie in her hands. Obviously, you can guess how the whole episode turned out. As the glue bottle was 'accidentally' turned upside down by two hands that could only have belonged to a Duo Maxwell, the whole glob of glue raced toward Relena's hair and the freshly baked ready-to-serve-and-delicious-tasting-according-to-Relena mince pie with unthinkable speed. Duo only laughed himself silly up on the second floor as Heero and Quatre (actually, it was mostly Heero, because Quatre was having trouble controlling his face from turning into a large purple balloon with uncontrollable laughter) raced to rescue the once unsticky Relena, her once unglued hair, and her once freshly baked ready-to-serve-and-delicious-tasting-according-to-Relena mince pie. (Now, Heero's face was absolutely different from Quatre's and Duo's. Heero's face was as innocent as a new born child, even though he was the one that dared Duo to do it in the first place.)

So, anyway, now Relena supervised Duo carefully with both eyes on his back in case he decides to try to slip away unnoticed as he trudged over to help Heero and the clan to paint her hallway walls the color by the name of 'light flamingo'. After Duo _finally_ gets to the walls Relena felt it was safe to take her eyes off of him for a while because she trusts the other 4 to keep him out of further mischief. She commenced to attack the tiling work now facing her.

Step one, of course was for Relena to spread powerful glue on the floor, so the tiles would be bonded firmly in place. This achieved the task of Relena reliving the earlier glue nightmare. Relena then proceeded to step two--which you probably have already guessed-- was to slip and fall face-first into the glue coat she created in step one, thus bonding herself to the floor like a gum wad on a hot sidewalk.

Fortunately, Relena was not alone in the kitchen. Also in the room, thank goodness, was one of the most useful companions a person can ever hope to have: a rather large and hairy dog. Specifically, it was a sheep dog known as Binke. Binke saw that her loving owner was in trouble, so she immediately ran into the hallway and summoned the whole troop of guys busy painting the 'wall', but was getting more paint on themselves than the wall, especially Duo.

Ha! Yeah right! No, seriously, Binke did what all dogs do when their owners are in trouble: lick the owner's face. Dogs believe this is the correct response to every emergency. If Lassie had been a real dog, when little Timmy was sinking in the quicksand, Lassie, instead of racing back to the farmhouse to get help, would have helpfully licked Timmy on the face until he disappeared, at which point lassie, having done all she could for him, would have resumed licking herself.

So anyway, when Binke decided to help out, she naturally also became stuck in the glue. But again, luck was on Relena's side because just strolling in the kitchen looking for food, came Duo. Duo, realizing that the situation was no joking matter, immediately began laughing hysterically. Due to the loud snorting laughs in the kitchen, the gentlemen in the hallway became aware that something was obviously wrong for Duo to laugh _that_ hard. So, they came in the kitchen too, and with the help of loud obnoxious coughs, concealed their laughter from the now glued-up Relena.

Eventually, with their help, Relena got unstuck from the floor and was able to lay the tile. But she still had glue all over herself. So, she called a glue emergency hotline, but no one answered.

I don't know about you, but that sentence rather disturbed Relena. In her pretty little head, she thinks somebody should check on the glue emergency-hotline staff. Using her imagination, she can picture an office reeking of glue fumes, with whacked-out workers permanently bonded to floors, walls, ceilings, each other, etc. This is also how Duo pictures congress.

Relena, still trying to solve her personal glue problem, she called a tile contractor. During this conversation, the glue on her body hardened, such that 1) her right foot became stuck to the floor, 2) her legs became stuck together, 3) her body became stuck to a chair, and 4) her hand became stuck to the telephone. What were the boys doing during this time while Relena was struggling, you may ask. Well, let's see, after they helped her get out of the gluey mess, Duo and Trowa was practically immobilized from laughter. (They couldn't resist.) That leaves Heero, Quatre, and Wufei. They were just staring stupidly with their mouth slightly open.

Relena had to dial 911 with her nose.

Heero was the first to come to his senses; he began to try to pry Relena free from the objects as the others were still staring and laughing. Then, the rescue crew came. Perhaps now would be a good time to mention Relena's attire. Because she didn't want to get her cloths dirty, Relena chose to work in her bathing suit. She was still wearing it. Fortunately, the rescue crews were serious, competent, highly trained professionals, and thus, laughed until they cried. Once they recovered they freed her with solvents, and everything was fine.

Let's just say that after this time, the gundam pilots never let Relena to tile her kitchen floors. Duo and Trowa finally retained their laugher and returned to their work. Quatre and Wufei finally came out of their slight coma, and started a giggling fit. And Heero, he finally had enough sense to tell Relena to just let the professionals do the remodeling of the house.

_Hope you enjoyed it! Please remember to drop a review in the review box! Arigatoogozaimasu!_


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